The Hungry Ghost

Characters

Tiffanie Sparks:

A child star in her late 30’s who hit the big-time in her late teens and early 20s, then fell hard and into obscurity.

Pappa Sparks:

Tiffanie’s father. Mid 60’s, skinny, and always sweating. Pappa is Tiffanie’s manager, publicist and accountant. He is also the manager of The Movietime Motel.

Loretta “Sparkle” Santorino:

A hard living woman in her early to mid 50’s . She is a stripper/cocktail waitress at The Cougar Club in Encino.

Setting

A series of small rooms in a cheap motel (The Movietime Motel) that caters to adult clientèle.

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Scene 1

Dreams Do Come True

AT RISE: TIFFANIE is sitting on the bed, chain smoking, chewing gum, and sipping on a Big Gulp. SHE is dressed in a short plaid skirt and a sports-bra. SHE wears a blonde wig and large designer glasses, both are fashionable, but in a style that is of a past decade.

TIFFANIE

(SHE smiles, takes a sip from her Big Gulp, burps, takes a deep drag, exhales and addresses the audience as she would an interviewer.)

Welcome to Tarzana!

(SHE pauses and smokes)

Let’s try this again. Can I have another take? OK? Great!

I’m in Fucking Tarzana. Not Beverly Hills. Not Brentwood. Hell, I’m not even in that shit-hole part of town called Hollywood. Yes, people, I’m in fucking-middle-of-nowhere-armpit-of-the Valley-Tarzana.

(Pause and smoke, stands up and paces the room.)

Let me put this into prospective. I’m living in a 10×15 room, in a little blue stucco building sandwiched between Ventura Boulevard – which, by the way is nothing but six lanes of traffic and a few hot dog stands – and the Hollywood Freeway. I think the freeway has eight lanes of traffic.

(pause, sigh.)

I rarely sleep.

(SHE sits back on the bed.)

Anyway, like I was saying, Tarzana is not the kind of place where little girls imagine they’ll end up when they dream of making it big in Hollywood.

(pause)

But, you’re not here to hear about my E! True Hollywood Story. You know all that. Hell, everything I did was on the news. The fucking paparazzi practically filmed my entire life. Everywhere I went, somebody was snapping pictures. It caused me to lose my kids, you know. I haven’t seen them in 10 years.

(Pause. SHE laughs.)

I remember one time, when I was living out in Malibu, stopping at a gas station to take a dump. Some asshole paparazzi followed me into the bathroom and waited for me to exit the stall. I was so embarrassed. Anyway, in the melee, I forgot to flush and after I left, that fuck-hole went into stall, collected the shit I left him and sold it on e-Bay. I think I remember hearing the high bid was $5,000.

(pause)

Now my shit ain’t worth the .99 cent taco it’s made of.

(SHE Pauses and smokes. sips from Big Gulp.)

It’s no wonder I went crazy.

(SHE wipes eyes)

I’ve gotta pee. Turn off the camera for a moment.

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Scene 2

I Knew She Was Trouble

AT RISE: LORETTA is standing in the doorway to her room. Slightly overweight and has shocking red hair. She is dressed for work: white thigh-high vinyl boots, white hot-pants, white Lycra half-top that is very low cut to feature her large breasts and belly. She wears white sparkly lipstick and eyeshadow.

LORETTA

(SHE stands in the doorway; arms folded, looks at the audience. SHE rolls her eyes. SHE turns, walks into her room and takes a seat on the bed.)

You might as well come in and make yourself comfortable, Sugar.

(SHE lights a cigarette)

Let’s make this quick, though. Mamma’s got to be to work in an hour. What do you wanna know?

(pause)

Everything? Shit, we don’t have time for that. How ‘bout the highlights?

(pause)

Got any bourbon in that bag?

(pause)

Fuck. Tarzana’s not a dry town, you know.

(pause)

Fine. So, my name is Loretta Santorino. Santorino…like that place in Italy. Except with an O. My friends call me Sparkle. You, Sugar, can definitely call me Sparkle.

(SHE pauses, crosses her legs and examines her fingernails.)

I’ve lived here for 20 years, you know. I’m kinda famous. You might recognize me. Do you recognize me, Sugar?

(pause)

Asshole. Well, you should. I am the Famous Sparkle. That’s right. Sparkle! The longest running strip act at the Encino Cougar Club. You might say I am the Queen of the Cougars.

(pause)

We’re classy, not like that goddamned Jumbo’s Clown Room shit. You should come by this evening.

(pause)

You do like women? Don’t you?

(pause, looks around the room)

This place may not look like much, but it’s sure seen a lot of action, if ya know what I mean…

(laughs, and then begins to cough (cigarette cough.)

What’s that? Fuck you! You’re like all the rest. You only want to hear about the Famous Fucking Tiffanie Sparks. Well, I’ll tell you about that snooty bitch.

(pause)

She’s a whore who eats and shits like the rest of us. Plain and simple.

(SHE starts pacing the room)

I knew that bitch was trouble the minute she moved in. Always makin’ noise, she is. And filmin’ everything.

(Pause)

She may be more famous than me, but I get more for a hand-job than she does. Hell, I at least have repeat customers.

(pause)

That has-been bitch never sees the same guy twice. Ever.

(SHE lights another cigarette)

If you ask me, I think they don’t come back because her father is always in there with her.

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Scene 3

The Comeback

AT RISE: TIFFANIE is sitting in a chair, chewing gum. SHE is dressed in pink Juicy Couture sweatpants and a pink muscle-tee. SHE wears a black wig.

TIFFANIE

(SHE gets up, walks to and sits on the bed, pats the mattress and addresses her “interviewer.”)

Wanna come sit next to me? C’mon! I’ll make you a deal. After we’re done filming this, I’ll give you a little somethin’ extra. No charge. OK? OK, deal. Now, where were we?

(SHE Pauses and smokes)

Yea, right. OK. So, the first time was the hardest. I’ll never forget it. Right after I was fired by my record company, who, for legal reasons I cannot mention on camera…

(SHE moves close to the audience, looks around, then whispers)

I can tell you this. The company in question has an amusement park in Anaheim and a mouse as their logo. It should be a rat. That’s right. A fucking rat. I was their top grossing ratkateer and I haven’t earned a single residual. Go figure.

(SHE returns to the bed, lights a cigarette.)

Like I was saying, the first time was the hardest. I got over it pretty quickly, but I never got used to having Pappa in the room. It’s OK, though. Somebody’s gotta film it. I’ll show you the film, later. Anyway, in the beginning, a lot of men showed up. I remember 14 in one week alone. Every one of them excited as hell for a crack at Tiffanie Sparks.

(pause, sighs)

Oh, those were good times.

(SHE Pauses and smokes)

But, a lot’s happened since then. A lot. I haven’t had as many visitors as I used to and now that Pappa is getting up in his years… Well, let’s just say he makes a lot of mistakes. I’ll get to those in a minute.

What’s that?

(Pause)

I said, I’ll get to those in a minute. Are you filming me correctly? Should I move closer to the light over here? Pappa always told me to stay as close to the light as possible.

(SHE moves near a lamp on the night table)

There, that’s better. How do I look? Are you sure you don’t want to stop filming for a quickie?

No? Ok, fine. I need to change. I don’t think pink is right for me. I’ll be back in a moment.

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Scene 4

The Distribution Center

AT RISE: PAPPA is sitting at a desk in the office of The Movietime Motel. The wall is lined with shelves and the shelves are lined with VHS Cassette cases. HE is wearing cargo shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. He is drinking coffee and sweating.

PAPPA

(HE remains seated and drinks from his coffee and smiles.)

So, you’re interested in seeing some of Tiffanie’s films.

(He rises, approaches the shelf and removes a video.)

We’re in the process of changing everything to DVD. I hope you don’t mind. Don’t worry about rewinding the tape. That and a cup of complimentary morning coffee are included in the cost of the room.

(pause)

What’s your scene?

(Pause)

Scene? You know, anal, blowjob, older, younger… That type of thing. Tiffanie is a versatile actress. She’ll do whatever I tell her.

(HE replaces the video and removes another one.)

Everything is filmed and produced right here. I have an eye for the “scene” and production is my forte, but I have to admit, I’m not a bad actor myself. If I were the least bit interested, I’m pretty sure I could be more famous than Tiffanie. I’ve never had to fake a scene. Ever.

(HE laughs)

She’s big in North Korea, you know. Yep, they pay us a lot of money to film some really special shit. I’d show it to you, but it’s an acquired taste, and well, I’m good at knowing a person’s character, and you don’t seem the sort who would be interested.

(pause)

No, trust me on this one. I don’t think you’d enjoy watching. How about I show you some of her interracial highlights? You look like the type who might enjoy them.

(HE removes a key from his drawer.)

I’ll set you up in room 2-B. It’s a nice room on the second floor with a view of the mountains. It’s also right next door to Tiffanie. If you need anything from me, just dial 0.

(HE pauses, winks)

If you are interested in Tiffanie, just let me know that, too. All I ask is that you give me time to ensure her room is ready. It can get pretty messy in there at times.

(pause)

Say, have you ever starred in a film? You’ve got a look that’ll sell in North Korea.

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Scene 5

La Petit Mort

AT RISE: Tiffanie is sitting at a small table with a bottle of vodka. The ashtray is overflowing. SHE is dressed in a white lacy, cocktail-length wedding dress. SHE wears a blonde wig and large designer glasses – same as scene 1.

Tiffanie

(SHE drinks directly from the bottle and addresses her “interviewer.”)

Did you know this hotel has 24 hour, unlimited adult movies?

(laughs)

Of course you do. It’s on the fucking sign. But, I’ll bet you weren’t aware I’m in a couple of them. That’s right. Filmed right here in this room, on that bed. But, that’s why you’re here, right?

(pause)

Ok, so as I was saying, the first time was the hardest. In the beginning, Pappa would place an ad on-line and the men would show up. Nobody famous. But still, they were here to see me!

(pause)

Pappa would hide in the closet – that one, over there - with his video camera and record the whole thing. The camera is pretty nice; it’s very professional. He keeps it in his office when it’s not in use.

(pause)

Are you aware that he manages the Movietime Motel? I like the name. Movietime. It makes me feel nice.

(SHE pauses, smokes and drinks)

The camera was bought with the last of the money. I think it cost $2,000 less than my famous shit. So anyway, he sets it up, hides in the closet and films everything.

(SHE drinks)

I’ve often wondered what happened to all the money. Pappa kept telling me we’d get some of it back. But, it didn’t…

(SHE gets up, walks to and sits on the bed.)

From this angle the camera catches everything. In the beginning, Pappa would know just when the moment was right to spring out of the closet with one those big industrial plastic bags he liked. You know the clear ones?

(pause)

He liked seeing their faces. He once told me that suffocation intensifies an orgasm, so I figured they didn’t suffer too much.

(SHE lights another cigarette. Smokes it in silence and lights another.)

In the beginning, Pappa used to take the bodies and dispose of them somewhere near the Grapevine. When they were discovered by a hiker a few years back, he stopped. By then, he was already getting old and a couple of the guys almost escaped.

(pause)

He was having a hard time holding them down.

(pause)

I cracked a skull or two.

(pause)

Things got sloppy.

(pause)

We started storing the bodies in a van near the back of the hotel.

(She removes her wig, scratches her scalp, walks to a mirror and replaces the wig.)

Like I said, mistakes were made.

(She faces her interviewer)

The film is in the office safe.

(pause)

So, officer, do you want to see my movies now, or should we wait until we get to the police station?

(pause)

OK, that’s cool. How about that favor I promised you?

(pause)

No? Ok, well I’ve gotta pee. Turn off the camera for a moment.

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FIN

Copyright© 2007-2008 Mark B. Papale. All rights reserved.

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